1st Article From The “Foods Are Yummy” Series

Why Everyone Should Eat Donuts (Comical Essay)

(disclaimer: for entertainment purposes. MOST FACTS ARE UNTRUE)

Written by Food Critics: Amy Zheng, Joyce Zhu, and Ellen Wu

Everyone should eat donuts because donuts make me happy. They taste really good and it makes my brain funky so it makes me happy. But donuts are really nice because there can be a lot of stuff on the top so it’s very fun and tasty. So then you can put anything on it. So everyone should eat donuts. Even though your mother always says donuts are unhealthy she is wrong, and I am correct (like I always am).

First off, if you eat a donut in the morning, you will have a good memory throughout the day. So then you will score really well on your test and that is good. If you had a very important job thingy and you have to remember stuff, then you will do very good because you will remember a lot of stuff. So donuts can help you get better scores on tests and do better in job thingies! How good is that?

Also, donuts have many flavors, so depending on what you like, it will put you in a good mood for the day because if you eat something you like, you will be happy for the rest of the day which will boost your self esteem and you will succeed more in life. And you will be better at life. So donuts can help you succeed and help you boost your self esteem, which is very very good! What other snack could help you do that?

The third reason is that donuts have a very weird shape. It is very fun to look at because there is no other food that tastes that good and looks funny. So if you are feeling sad, you just look at a donut, and then you will laugh because it looks funny. All you have to do is visualize that delicious donut you had, and then you’ll start laughing which is good!

Also, you could put stuff on donuts. Then you can have your own custom donut. And you can decorate your donut with a lot of icing and a lot of sprinkles and a lot of chocolate chips, and so it will be really yummy because donuts and icing and sprinkles and chocolate chips are very yummy when they’re together. Then, it will make you very happy because it tastes very good.

Finally, if donuts were bad, then how does Dunkin’ Donuts make so much money? (not an ad). That means everyone likes donuts so you should eat them! Which means that if you don’t like donuts, then you stink. JUST KIDDING. BUT EVERYONE SHOULD EAT DONUTS. *takes a bow*

Everyone should eat donuts because donuts will give you a good self esteem because your brain is funky, you will be happy, donuts have a very weird shape so you will laugh, and then you can eat it!!!!!!! *takes another bow*