3rd Article From The “Foods Are Yummy” Series

Why Everyone Should Eat Chocolate (Comical Essay)

(disclaimer: for entertainment purposes. MOST FACTS ARE UNTRUE)

Written by Food Critics: Amy Zheng, Joyce Zhu, and Ellen Wu

All of these foods are really AWESOME!!! If you know someone that has not eaten one of these foods tell them they need to get a life!!! Plus! Everyone should eat chocolate! Because chocolate is super yummy and you should eat it!

First of all, chocolate is very good for your health. People say that chocolate is good for your heart, it lessens chances of diseases, and it reduces sunburn! Then you don’t have to put on that gross icky sunscreen everyday you go to school. And if you’re mom says “you’re gonna get sunburned if you don’t put on sunscreen” just tell them that you are a health expert and that you won’t! And you’ll be right too!

Secondly, it reduces stress. When you eat it, you are calm and relax so you are in chocolate lala land and forget about everything around you. So then you can focus better and so more stuff. And if you can focus better, then you can do better on tests and do better at life! So you should eat more chocolate and become calm and in chocolate lala land and do better at life.

Third, it makes you happy. Chocolate has a weird chemical and it makes your brain funky. Then you will forget about everything and you will be very happy eating your chocolate. The sweetness will make your brain very funny and funky and it will act weirdly and you will be happy for the rest of your day.

So, you should all eat chocolate! …… So yeah. *standing ovation*